Parental Alienation Syndrome: What Is It? How To Avoid It?

The concept of Parental Alienation Syndrome is not accepted as such in any psychiatric manual, however, it can be made aware of its existence.

Many couples are still together, either because they make the excuse that children need a united family or because they depend so much on each other that they try everything first, before facing the unwanted ending.

However, when children are involved, the solution to the couple’s problems should be quick and as less complicated as possible. Trying to cut to the chase, without anyone getting hurt.

Ending the relationship with the couple seeking to end the problems between the two does not mean throwing in the towel, but rather that, as parents, we are thinking about what should be best for our children.

“Your father is very bad”

“Your father is bad” is what a child may think of one of his parents as a result of Parental Alienation Syndrome, once they have separated or are in the process and begin to throw stones or garbage at him. roof of the other.

Many parents don’t think about how damaging their attitude can be. It is as if they only thought about them, their discomfort, forgetting that children are in a very sensitive stage in which they absorb everything and in which negative experiences can leave traces capable of marking their future.

At the moment in which one of the parents tells the child phrases such as “Your father is very bad”, the Parental Alienation Syndrome may be cultivating. Consequently, the child may mistrust his father, behave unfairly towards him and even despise him.

If that father also speaks ill of his former partner, the child may face a sway of emotions that he will not know how to manage.

In this case, who will distrust will be the other parent. And in this way, the child will experience a mistrust that will change sides as the parents convince him otherwise.

Avoid Parental Alienation Syndrome

Parental Alienation Syndrome can make any child insecure, distrustful and, especially, lose all respect for their parents.

It can also make you susceptible to the opinions of others, by which you will tend to get carried away. This is due to the low self-esteem that has to be fostered with an experience as harmful as the one referred to, in full childhood.

Therefore, it is necessary to avoid the behaviors that give rise to this syndrome. By avoiding these behaviors, you would also be avoiding injuries that could mark the child’s future. Some of these behaviors are:

• Speak ill of the other parent in the presence of the children.
• Trying to manipulate the child into feeling bad for wanting to see the other parent.
• Accept and applaud any word or attitude that goes against the other parent.
• Talk about the separation without going into details.

In these cases, it is essential not to use the children to feel support or to be cruel to the other parent. Children are not to blame for anything, and doing this does not speak well of who does it.

Be honest and sincere with the little ones

It is necessary to talk about the separation with the little ones. Many parents mistakenly believe that their children will not understand the seriousness of the situation because they are small.

To do this, it can be key to use simple language and answer clearly any questions they have. The important thing is that the child knows what has happened and why, otherwise he will feel lost without understanding anything.

And it is that the child must understand that a separation is something natural, that nothing happens because their parents have separated, since they will always love them the same.

All this will help the child a lot, preventing him from feeling sad and disconcerted about the separation from his parents. In this way, the child will understand that a  negative environment  is not something that makes people happy and that when this occurs, it is best to separate.

One of the most important things for the child to understand is that despite the separation, his parents will never stop loving him or spending time with him.